Episode 62 - What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Do you really need to have your entire future figured out?

In this episode of Three Questions, I unpack one of the most stressful questions we’re asked throughout our lives and why most people are approaching it backwards. Whether you’re choosing a major, considering a career change, or going back to school, I share the three questions that have shaped my own unconventional career path.

In This Episode You’ll Hear:

• The three questions that can simplify career and life decisions

• Why loving something doesn’t automatically mean you should do it for a living

• How lifestyle, schedule, and financial goals should influence your career choices

Because the goal isn’t finding the perfect career… It’s building a life that fits who you are and what matters most to you.

Links & Resources For This Episode:
Episode 59 - The Questions We Shouldn't Wait to Ask - Part 1: A Conversation With My Dad
Find a Neuro Studio Teacher Near You
Connect with me on Instagram
Connect with me on Threads

Transcript

Meghann Koppele Duffy: Welcome to Three Questions, where critical thinking is king, and my opinions and research are only here to support your learning and deeper understanding. Hey, I'm your host, Meghann, and I am so honored you clicked on Three Questions today because we are going to explore the question of what do you want to be when you grow up?

Now, when was the last time you thought about that question? It's something I think about a lot actually, and there's a few reasons why. Number one is I wonder if I'm gonna wanna do my current job for the rest of my life Sometimes we get caught up on what's next. Am I in the right place? And then I get, like, a student who's 80 or 70 and just getting a movement certification and going in a different direction, and that's what motivates me to be like, it doesn't matter how old you are, we can always make changes and be curious.

And the other reason is a lot of my friends' kids are getting older. I watch my nieces and nephew get older, and it's-- they're getting to that age where it's kind of like, "What do you think you wanna study after high school? Do you want to go to college?" These are all questions. It's like, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

It's something people ask you when you're in kindergarten, and then it's, like, thrust upon you where you've gotta, like, declare, you know, are you gonna be an education major, history, uh, science, pre-med, law, all these things at, like, seventeen or eighteen? That's kind of crazy when you think about it. And because the trajectory of school and how expensive it is, sometimes we feel like we have to make these life-or-death decisions, and we don't really know the answer.

So I'm gonna do this episode a little different. I'm gonna list off the three questions right off the bat, and then we're gonna dig into them a little deeper. So looking back, and this is something I ask myself daily, these three questions: What am I at the best at doing? Like, what is effortless for me to do every single day?

What am I interested in? And what kind of lifestyle do I want to live? Meaning schedule and monetary. This one is important. I knew at a young age I did not want to be a doctor, and I will tell you why. I did not like the hours doctors worked. I don't wanna work a forty-eight-hour shift. No, thank you. I don't wanna work on holidays.

I don't wanna have to stay late when I don't want to. That, to me, that lifestyle, not interesting to me. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze. So I was like, "Is there a different way I can work with the body at a schedule that works for me and my brain?" Okay? Someone's like, "Be a physical therapist." I was like, "Mm-mm."

How did I know I didn't wanna be a physical therapist? Well, I went and shadowed a PT. It was boring to me, okay? Also, I had physical therapy when I was young, and it didn't help, and I found it boring back then. Now, physical therapists, don't come after me, all right? I'm not saying all physical therapy is boring, the ones that I participated in.

It just wasn't outside the box enough for me as a thinker, right? A teacher. Oh, I love teaching. But at the time, I thought being a teacher was just like being a grammar school or a middle school or high school teacher, who good hours, summers off. But it didn't make enough money to support the lifestyle I wanted to live at the time.

Also, there wasn't a subject that I was, like, just really interested in. And if you wanna know the truth, I went to college freshman year as a history major, history education, okay? 'Cause I figured I love history. Could I see myself being a history teacher? I couldn't. But I was like, "Well, let's see. Maybe I'll just do pre-law."

However, I did not wanna be a lawyer because I do not like sitting still and reading a lot of documents. Reading comprehension was never my skill. I was lucky I did very well in school grade-wise, but reading comprehension, reading a lot, ugh, I didn't wanna do that. I did that in school. I hated it then. Do you think I wanna do that as a job?

Ew. No, thank you. For me, I like a different schedule every day. I like seeing different people. I also like making my own schedule, okay? So I could work 8 to 8 PM, or I could work 8 to 9 p- 9 AM, one hour. I like that flexibility. So I created a job based off those three questions. And people will say, "Oh, well, well, you're the exception, not the rule."

No, not true Nowadays, there's so many more options available, but you have to go in. So if you're a young person listening to this, I'm pretty sure my demographic is not the, uh, you know, 16 to 24 demographic, but if it is, hello. Is you've gotta go with both eyes open. Nobody's gonna give you anything, right?

If you wanna be a social media influencer, that is a really hard job, okay? You've gotta post a lot. You've gotta be creative. You've got deadlines. You've gotta share a lot of your life. I don't wanna do that, okay? So it looks glamorous, but is a very stressful job. And people are like, "That's not a real job."

Okay, you've never done it. Be quiet. Is it a job I would want? Absolutely not. Could the money be very good? Yes, if you are very good at the job, right? And that's with any job. So I always say to young people or people who are thinking about getting a Pilates certification at 50, I'll ask them, "What is your goal?"

"I just love Pilates. I, I, I just love it so much." I'm like, "Yes, but do you love teaching it?" Doing it and teaching it are two very different things. Most Pilates teachers rarely do Pilates 'cause they're so busy teaching it. That's a rule I have for myself. I need to do Pilates and movement and not just teach it 'cause I feel like crap when I don't do it.

So you could love something and not wanna do that for a living. That's a hobby. We should have them. So to me, your job should check those boxes. What is effortless for me, okay? I love doing this podcast. It's effortless for me to just come up here and talk to you with no notes Okay? Are some episodes better than the others?

Yeah. But, like, is every day at work great for you? I mean, come on. For that, me showing up with clients, I love working with clients. It is, like, right in my zone of genius. M- like, my business partner Mariska will be like, "How do you see so many clients? Don't they drain you?" I'm like, "Nope." I feel more drained when I have to sit through meetings and talk about shit that nobody's ever actually gonna do, right?

That drains me. This does not. So I want you to think about what you can show up and do every day with little to no effort, because you are going to have bad days. I have bad episodes, and this might be one of them. Who knows? But you're gonna have those bad days. But a bad day is not as bad if you actually enjoy what you're doing.

A bad day sucks when you already hate what you're doing, okay? Me having to read through a ton of paperwork, that's why I hated working for my dad. Reading insurance policies, ugh, no thank you. So reading through them, it would drain me. But working twice as many hours, moving and moving bodies, effortless.

Teaching a workshop, I'll teach an eight-hour workshop. I used to be really bad. I still am. I would sometimes just go and never give breaks. I didn't need a break. I'm good to go. And everybody's like, "Can we get a break?" And I was like, "Oh, sorry." Or when my students come to visit, I warn them, "Bring food.

Order it in advance. Use DoorDash." I don't stop to eat. They're like, "Aren't you hungry?" No, I'll eat when I'm done. I'm not gonna starve. I'm good. That's how I work best. So you've gotta know that and understand that, and don't think, "Well, I'll get better at it if I keep doing it." Yes, and you will. But if you're not great at it and you don't enjoy it right from jump, don't romanticize that job.

Don't think, "Oh my God, it's gonna be so much easier when I'm getting paid." Uh-uh. It's just the same, but you're getting paid. All right? So if you're going into college and thinking, "Oh, I want this to be my major," all right, can you picture yourself doing that, not for the rest of your life, but for the next 10 years, let's just say?

And if the answer is no, pick a different major Now, you have to be good at something, but it also has to be interesting to you. So I love teaching. That's why I chose to get my doctorate in education rather than continuing studying the science that I've done for 20 years. I was a little bored with that.

I wanted to dig into the teaching a little more. That was more interesting to me. Okay? I love to teach. I used to just teach movement. Now I teach business strategy. Now I teach how to run an online business and a brick-and-mortar business. I also teach, I don't know, how to be a better teacher. Like, all these different things is based off what is interesting me at that time.

Okay? So I guess deep down as a kid, I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't want to be a teacher at a young kid level. Little kids annoy me. Middle school, they're annoying too. High school, I- they're all annoying to me. Adults are annoying too. I'm joking. I mean, no. But do I wanna teach dogs? No, I wanna cuddle with dogs

So I like to teach adult learners in continuing education because they're there for a reason. They're there because they want to learn I don't like teaching entry-level classes at this point in my career because the people don't really wanna be there, so they're not really there to learn, and it's hard to teach people who aren't really there to learn.

Okay? Now, as I'm becoming a better teacher, I see such a value in those entry-level courses, and I actually am writing one right now, and I'm determined to figure out how to get people interested in this topic because I feel that this particular topic is a prerequisite, but people never latch onto it, right?

So I'm like, "We're missing something. We're not teaching it well enough." And I, I think one of the main reasons, if, if I could be totally honest with you guys, is we don't do a good job at explaining how that fits into what they do, right? So if you're getting ready to go to college or go back to school, some of the prerequisite courses, do yourself a favor.

Ask your advisor, "How does this course fit into what I am doing?" Because when you have a better understanding of that, it's really cool 'cause you'll be more motivated in that course 'cause you know how it fits into your goal, right? So in high school, a lot of times we're looking at these classes like, "Ugh, how is this gonna fit into what I do?

I'm bored. I don't even care." But asking those questions will be super, super helpful for your motivation, and also sometimes, sometimes we just gotta check some boxes. I've had classes even in my doctorate. I'm like, "I just have to get through this course. I don't like this professor. I don't like this material.

This is not the kind of teacher I wanna be, but I have to check a box." Also fine. Now, let's circle back to question three because it's very important

I did not want to be a doctor because I did not like the hours. I loved bartending. Oh my God, it was like probably my favorite job 'cause you get to talk to people, you get to meet people. I'm such a curious person. I love getting to know people. But it was at night. I don't like the nighttime. I am very strong while the sun's out.

When the sun goes down, I go down. I like to go to bed early, I like to wake up early. I am not cut out for the nightlife. I love when my friend's like, "Do you wanna go out for brunch or day drinking?" I'm like, "Yes, yes." Any of my friends who like wanna go out late night, I'm like, "Mm, no thank you. Mama's going to bed."

That's just not for me, right? So you have to be honest about the hours and the schedule of the actual job. Like, do you really wanna do that? Now, a lot of people wanna be an entrepreneur and work for themselves, and I'm like, "Do you really wanna do that?" Like, technically I really have no days off, although I take days off.

I like to work my own schedule. But when you're an entrepreneur, there's always something that needs to be done. There's always growth. There's always something. And for my brain, that works well, but for other people, it stresses them out. There is no shame in going to a job, doing your job, and going home.

That's, like, amazing. Also, when it comes to jobs, look at the salary

I'm pausing. I talk to a lot of young people who are for physical therapy school, and I'll say, "What are your goals?" They'll be like, "I wanna do what you do." I go, "Then don't go to PT school. You're gonna come out with, uh, $250,000 in debt, and you're gonna make $50,000, and you're gonna be doing a job you hate."

I didn't want to do that. I went through the back door. But in going through the back door, it took a little bit longer. I have different credentials. It was harder to explain to people what I do. "Are you PT?" "No." "What are you?" Sometimes I'm just like... My mom gets mad at me when I tell people I'm, I'm a Pilates teacher.

"You are so much more than a Pilates teacher." I'm like, "Who cares, though? I'm Meghann. That's who I am." Um, but yeah, it was a little bit more difficult, but I had to create my own position, built my own company, used social media to build the brand awareness, right? And at the end of the day, I get great results, and nobody cares what my credentials are, provided I get great results and I'm not g- spouting bullshit, right?

You don't want people who have no credentials giving advice on something they don't know anything about. You know what I mean? So again, I have a undergrad in exercis- exercise science, a master's in applied physiology, and educa- health education, and I'm getting my doctorate in education. Okay? So If you want to be a physical therapist and work that way, then you've gotta get your DPT.

If you wanna be an occupational therapist, if you wanna be a doctor, if you wanna be a DO, you've got to do what is needed to do that. But make sure those are your actual goals. If you have different goals, well, talk to someone who's done what you do- wanna do. So if you wanna do something like I do, teach continuing education, travel the world, talk to people all day long, help them get results, reach out.

Book a coaching call with me. I will tell you exactly how I got there. I will understand your goals and offer you advice. You don't have to do it yourself. Talk to the person who has done what you wanna do. You see one of your parents' friends, "My God, Mr. Duffy always seems happy. He loves his job. You know, they live in a really nice house.

You know, they travel. They don't have kids. Mr. Duffy, what, what was your background? What job do you do? Can you tell me? Would you have done it any differently?" Okay? Now, my husband is an excellent teacher. I think he has, like, two or three masters at this point in special ed. But, you know, he initially was trying to be a professional football player and got injured.

Being a teacher wasn't his goal. Then he tried some other things and didn't like it. He really likes being a teacher. He's also a coach. But what's so interesting, he really likes teaching, and I, and I love that, and he's really good at it. But that wasn't his initial thing. So everybody to where they are has taken a weird route, and I think sometimes when it comes to the college m- mindset, you think you have to take this perfect paved road.

Let me tell you, the people who are successful and the people who are happy and successful rarely ever take a, a path that was cleared for them. Now, it's gon- it-- I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be harder. There is no shortcut to success, and anybody who is selling you that is selling... They are selling a shortcut to success.

They are selling you bullshit and making a ton of money off it. Kinda genius when you think about it. Something, um, I think I stole this from my friend Shante. When people go, "Well, how long did that take?" I go, "It takes as long as it takes." It took me like four hours to do a social media post the other day.

Four hours, because I couldn't get the terminology correct. I was trying to teach a very complex topic in 90 seconds. I couldn't get it right, and I didn't like it. But it wasn't about the four... It wasn't about the social media post. Those four hours were a critical thinking episode of me trying to figure out how to explain this better.

It wasn't about the social media post. Next time I teach that concept in my course, oh my God, it's gonna be so much more clear because I spent those four hours doing it. So good things take time, my friends. It does. I like... If you ask my parents, I kind of, I think I asked my dad, I can't remember in which episode, I knew probably they were worried about me for a few years when I sold my Pilates studio, and I was kind of building the neuro studio.

I, deep down, think they worried about me financially, that I would never be okay financially. But my dad's like, "I always-- I had faith you would get there. But sometimes I was kind of unsure about your decisions because I had never heard of that before. It was almost like you were pulling something out of thin air, so I wasn't sure it would work."

And I was like, "Yeah, me too." But deep down, I knew it was gonna work because of my dad's advice. My dad told me, "Figure out what you love to do, and then figure out a way to make a living at it." It took me about, ooh, 15 years to figure out a way to make a, a good living on doing what I love, and I will tell you the secret right now: getting really clear and good at it I was always a good movement teacher, but I didn't really fully understand what I was doing and the whys.

When I took the time and really dug into it, it's helped me become more clear and explain it to people better. I can get more people through the door, better results, and just keep going. So I really do think in this world of shortcuts, the cream always rises to the top. I'm not afraid of AI. I am for other reasons.

But to me, nobody is going to replace me because I am always thinking 10 steps ahead of what I do, not what you do, right? I'm always breaking down my own work. I call it... I, I'm always Swiss cheesing stuff, so I'm always poking holes in it, right? So that if somebody goes, "Well, what about this?" I can say, "Ah, great point.

I've thought about it. This." And when they say, "What about that?" I can come back. So I do really think the ... It's unsexy. It's not sexy. It's not exciting. The clear way to success is being the best at what you do, and the best way to get the best at what you do is loving what you do and leaning into what you're already really good at.

You see what I'm saying? If you don't love something, you can't give it your 100%. That's why you see so many wealthy people, unhappy wealthy people, right? Honestly, I know money sounds great, and it does, it helps a lot of things, I'm not gonna lie. But to me, I remember maybe it was like two years ago, I was working nonstop, and I could not believe the amount of money I made at the end of the year.

But there was not one moment in that year where I was enjoying it. I was always in a rush, I wasn't present, and it took to a family member getting pretty sick to being like, "Whoa I don't know how much time I have left with this person. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We've gotta reconfigure shit. Also, example, I'm looking at it right now, our backyard.

Brian and I saved so much money to redo that backyard, and I sat in it zero times last, uh, summer because I was working so much. What the hell is the point? Okay? So I wanna keep this episode short and sweet. Whether you're going to college, whether you're miserable at your job, whether you're thinking about a career change, ask yourself these three questions: What can I do effortlessly every day, even on the bad days?

Number two, what am I interested in? And number three, can this fit into my lifestyle? What is the lifestyle I need? How much money do I need to make and make those three mesh? Those are the only three questions you need to think about in the beginning. The rest will sort themselves out. I have a lot of people, when they say they wanna become a Pilates teacher, I'll be like, "Okay, how much money do you wanna make?"

And they tell me, I'm like, "All right. This is how many classes you're gonna have to teach a day to do it, or you can do this model or this model." And they go, "Well, I don't wanna work that much." I'm like, "Well, then don't become a Pilates teacher." End of story. They're, like, romancing the idea that they're gonna do Pilates every day and be in leggings and be fit and happy.

No, no, no. Okay? I wanna make this amount of money, so I'm gonna do this job, but you'll be miserable at it for the first 40 years of your life until you make the money, and then you walk out your house and get hit by a bus. I don't know. Yeah. So my advice is not helping you be the richest person in the room, but make enough money to live the life you wanna live, have the schedule you wanna keep, s- have the time for friends and family, 'cause at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what anybody thinks about you.

Your friends, your family, your people is all that matters. So think about all that shit, and I will encourage you because I am not extraordinary. I just knew I did not want an ordinary life. I did not want a nine-to-five job. I know my brain. I know how it works. I know when I'm best. So I created a job to be able to do the things I love, share the work that I've created, and communicate it into a people that...

in a way that brings me joy. So there is a way to do it. It's not easy because you've gotta create that path, and it is gonna be rocky as shit along the way And if you're a young person listening to this, you don't know that so many jobs exist. Ask people what they do for a living. What did you need to do to get there?

Ask people. Ask people questions. Do you like your job? What's one thing you would change about it? Do you like having your own clinic? No, I actually don't. Is there a way you could do it differently? Yeah, well, I could do Zoom sessions, but you know, all the technology. Good. My business soared because I pivoted to Zoom sessions out of necessity and realized I'm really good at Zoom sessions So I got better at Zoom sessions and was able to make more money, and then was able to get rid of my brick and mortar that was a lot of overhead.

People are like, "Why don't you open another studio?" Because I don't want to. It was a headache. Employees are exhausting. No thank you, ma'am. Okay? Is there a perfect job? Absolutely not. But let me tell you something, when I've got to work 12 days in a row and I'm traveling, some of my students have heard me say it, 'cause I say it out loud when I'm driving, I am so blessed to do what I do even when I'm tired.

I am lucky. But it wasn't luck, it was a lot of hard work and trial and error to get here. So don't get it twisted that it's easy, but it is possible. And I know this kind of was an out there episode. I did this after some conversations I had with some young people because I spoke to three young people who are in colle- one was in college, one was right out of college, and one was in high school, and all of them were very stressed at the question, "Do you know what you wanna do when you grow up?"

Like planning next. And they were like, "No, but I have to figure that out." And I remember that same feeling, and I lied. One more little piece of advice If you think you want to do a job, go do it. Shadow the person. Do it for a week. Literally, it took me two hours to realize I didn't wanna p- be a PT, but I stayed there the whole week.

Hated it. Hated every minute of it in a clinic, how that was set up. Okay? I'm so blessed I did that because I stopped applying for a DPT. My plan when I sold my Pilates studio was go back to get my DPT, and I stopped applying after that experience 'cause I was like, nope, this is worse than owning a Pilates studio.

Nope, nope. So I knew two things I didn't wanna do. And if you are 60, 40, my normal demographic, and you're thinking, "Why is she talking about going to college?" Because a lot of you guys talk to me about going back to school, and what do I say? I'm like, "Let's do the cost-benefit analysis. How will getting this degree help you?"

"I don't know." "We'll figure that out first. What is your ultimate goal with this?" "Well, I wanna be able to do this." I'm like, "All right, you gotta do this then. You've got to Me going back to get my doctorate is not gonna make me any more money, but it is going to be able to take me to the next level of maybe potentially teaching at a university.

That used to be a goal of mine. It's not really a goal anymore. Um, but in some circles, I need higher credentials to walk through the door. Okay? So we'll check some boxes. We'll give the people what they want. But degrees don't change who you are. They should enhance your education and help you get to the next destination.

So don't spend money unless you know the goal of where it's gonna get you, and if you're like, "This is my goal. What do I need to get there?" Call me. Let's talk through it. I love doing that. It is so much fun to plan that out, especially when I'm not the person who has to do it. Oh my God, so much fun. I got you.

So three questions. What were they? What can you do effortlessly? What are you interested and love to do? And what kind of lifestyle do you wanna live? Let that dictate what you do for work, and take my dad's advice. Figure out those questions, and then figure out a way to make a living at it.