Episode 49 - Motivation Part 1: Three Questions That Shape Your Drive

Do you lack motivation… or are you missing one of the key ingredients?

In this episode of Three Questions, I explore why motivation isn’t created by a locker room speech or a burst of inspiration and what actually shapes it instead.

I share stories from teaching, clinical work, and my own doctorate program to show how clarity, feedback, and connection to purpose change everything. Because when people feel capable and understand the “why,” motivation doesn’t need to be forced.

In This Episode You’ll Hear:

• Why valuing what you’re learning is the foundation of real drive

• How perceived capability shapes risk-taking and resilience

• Why feedback and clarity directly impact your expectancy of success

Whether you teach, coach, rehab, lead, or are simply trying to understand your own drive, this episode will give you practical ways to shape motivation instead of chasing it.

Links & Resources For This Episode:
Episode 48 - The Hip Episode: Your Hips Don’t Lie (But They Do Compensate)
Find a Neuro Studio Teacher Near You
Connect with me on Instagram
Connect with me on Threads

Transcript

Meghann Koppele Duffy: Welcome to Three Questions where critical thinking is king, and my opinions and research are only here to support your learning and deeper understanding. Hey, I'm your host Meghann, and I'm so honored you clicked on Three Questions today so we can talk about motivation now. This will be a two part episode, and part two I will be joined by a very special guest, which will be a surprise, but motivation is interesting.

We see it all the time. You know those motivational speeches, you see it in sports movies when the coach comes in at halftime and gives this big speech and the team gets up and they go out there and they end up winning the game. But is that really what motivates people? Is that really what motivates you?

I remember asking my husband, uh, coach Duffy, if he gives speeches like that, and he's like, Ugh, no. And I was like, why? And he is like, they never motivated me. I was like, those speeches didn't pump you up in the locker room. He is like, no, I was already motivated. He had that intrinsic motivation. They're important.

We'll touch upon that later. And it was interesting 'cause when you think about it, uh, my husband played offensive line and if you know anything about American football, the offensive line, they kind of block. So a running back like Emmett Smith, I mean, he was incredible. But he also had the best offensive line at all times of the Dallas Cowboys blocking and creating holes for him.

Now, it ain't easy to run through holes, but it's a lot easier to run through a hole than no hole. So it was interesting, and I kind of asked him further. I'm like, do you think the offensive line when a linemen were more intrinsically motivated than the other players? And Brian goes, I don't know. And I said, okay, moving on.

And why? I asked him that. I asked it because as an offensive lineman, you don't get points or really stats. People only really mention your name if the quarterback gets sacked 'cause you did a bad thing. So it was just some questions I had about really understanding people and what motivates them. So today I'm gonna ask you three questions to help you really dig into your motivation or maybe find areas where you can maybe improve your motivation.

So number one, do you value what you're learning? Mean, that's a big one. Many of you might have been like, I didn't get good grades in high school, but I killed it in college. Or I didn't wanna go to college. I wanted to go and do this. Well, I don't think you did bad in school because you weren't smart. Two things.

I think you did bad in school because you weren't interested or you didn't value what you were learning. Not because you don't value education, but you're thinking, how is doing pre-calculus going to help me in my future endeavors? You weren't able to connect the dots and maybe there was no connection or maybe there was.

The other thing is I also think traditional education is geared for one learning style. Now, if a lecture format, which was very common when I was in school, great for me. I love auditory feedback. I don't like to read while someone's talking to me. Like, I can't stand when someone has a PowerPoint and is a really great storyteller or lecturer.

I mean, I love it, but I don't look at the PowerPoint. The PowerPoint distracts me 'cause I'm kind of reading the PowerPoint, but I'm hearing all this inter interesting stuff and my brain like short circuits. And you might be like, oh my God, me too. Or maybe you have trouble focusing 'cause of too many auditory distractions, or you couldn't sit still and you kept tapping your foot and the teacher would always yell at you.

So I truly believe that most people don't do well. In any learning environment, whether it's school or on the job training, if they don't value what they're doing, and I know this firsthand, if you didn't know I'm working to complete my doctorate, and I had to take some classes where I'm like, seriously, I didn't understand the connection to what I wanted to do.

And I really wanna encourage all teachers, advisors is take the time to say to the student, I know you're not really enjoying this class, but let's connect the dots here and in this interpersonal communication course, I know you're a good communicator, but maybe you're not good at communicating with this style.

Maybe you can tie that in, right? Or, I know you don't like geometry. But you wanna be an interior designer, you wanna make clothes, you have to know spaces how to measure and understanding where things fit in. So what if we thought when we're you're in geometry, you're thinking you're in a room and having to fit a couch in.

And that's hard. I remember moving into this house, um, it was a bigger house. Brian and I lived in a tiny little house for so long. And we had like no furniture. We had all our furniture in our old house is our bedroom furniture now. So I needed someone to help me and I was like, there is no way these two couches and that would fit.

I bought all the carpets that she didn't pick out too small. 'cause I am, I'm not good at that. Okay. She was, and man, our living room design, I look at it every day. I said I would've never picked this configuration. Now that person could have done terrible in school because she wasn't taking things that interested her.

So you might say to me though, yeah, Meg, but I have to take these classes to get my degree to get to the next step. Well, sometimes guys, we gotta check boxes, but I really feel like true success, it comes from staying in the process, not worrying about the goal. And I kind of, I kind of know that from experience.

I think I was always waiting for the next thing. I wanted to finish my undergrad so I can get to my master's. I wanted to finish my master's so I could have a master's, but in all that time, I was in such a rush to finish. Did I really learn in a way that was meaningful? No, no, no. I learned enough. Okay.

And in this doctorate, I'm taking it step by step. People are like, are you worried about finishing your dissertation? I say, no. I'm taking a chapter by chapter, step by step because if I think about the end goal, I will probably have a nervous breakdown. But right now I'm working on my motivation chapter, which has motivated me to talk to you about motivation.

How many times have I said motivation in the last two seconds? So try to find the value in what you're learning, even if it feels abstract. Alright, I have to learn this. So I could be better at this, and that is going to help me to get to that. Or I'm gonna take this class because that teacher is doing what I want to do.

So I'm gonna take that class and I'm gonna do well in that class. Not because I give a shit about the class, but I wanna connect with that professor. I wanna get to know them better. I wanna pick their brain. I wanna ask them questions. I wanna work with them because the best way to do something is to ask someone who's already done what you wanted to do.

So finding the value in what you're learning, I guarantee that will improve your motivation to complete any tasks or do what you're doing. This is also why a lot of my students have trouble with social media. They're just not motivated to make social media posts. Why? Because they're not seeing a value in it.

Well, what's the value? For me, I do social media for two reasons, to help be more clear about what I'm teaching and to connect with my audience because without an audience, I have no job, and without the ability to explain things, my students wouldn't stick around. So I find a value in social media. I'm not looking for friends, I'm not looking for followers because followers don't.

That doesn't bring me value. What do followers bring me? Trolls and annoyance. Followers don't always bring in money, and I'm trying to run a business. Okay, so listen, the research does support intrinsic value like Brian had. I didn't always have that 'cause for two reasons. I didn't always know what I wanted to do and I wasn't able to connect the value.

But you can also think, what's something called utility value? How is this gonna be helpful to me in the future? Or what's the value? I know this is going to suck, but that is gonna be a sacrifice I'm gonna take to get to my next goal. But I'm telling you that cost value, I don't think will get you as much boost.

So question one, what's the value? Find it. And if you can't find it, well, you know what? Maybe switch your goals. Switch your focus. Or say, I am not motivated in this. What else am I motivated in? Now moving to question two, do you think you are capable enough to learn or to be successful? Are you capable enough?

Now, this is hard because a majority of the motivational research supports that when students feel capable, they are much more engaged. They take risks and they persist through any challenges. So I was just talking to two of my mentees. I said, what was the value in the education you took with me? She told me it was hard.

I struggled. I go, yeah, but did you think, were you capable enough? Did you think you were smart enough to get it? And she said, yeah. I go, yes, because of previous experience, you did well in school. Hard work always paid off for you. But what if you didn't feel capable? 'cause I was using a different language.

How can you feel more capable? Okay, so some of you might be like, oh, the answer is no, I don't feel capable. I'm not smart enough with all do cut that right outta your vocabulary. You are smart enough. Somebody did not take the time to teach you in a way you understood. You need a better teacher. You need to understand how your sensory system works.

I got a beautiful message from a student yesterday. It brought me to tears.

It was a very long message, and the gist was I set up my workstation so perfectly. I always thought if my desk was clean, I'd be a better learner, but I've always struggled through school. And then in your course you said, Hey, I paced a. If that's distracting to you, turn off the screen and just listen to me.

I'm putting up the slides for this portion of the lecture, but I don't read off slides. I like to be a storyteller, so what I'm going to say is not going to directly match the slides. If you are a learner like me and that makes your head explode, turn off the slides, you have the slides, and giving her the permission to do that, she was able to learn and comprehend in a way that was meaningful to her.

So for the first time in her life, she felt capable and was able to finish it and learn some things. Okay. And again, summarizing it, but it was, it goes back to my why I would like to be that teacher for all my students. I was lucky. I had good teachers who taught a style that worked for me. My brain loves a lecture, but I look at people around me.

And unfortunately teachers failed them. There's great teachers, but there's also bad teachers like in every industry. So if you don't feel capable, figure out how can I be more capable? In my advanced neuro course, one of my students goes, Meg, I'm getting it. I just don't think my anatomy is up to snuff. I said, let's meet.

Let's go through it. Let's go through this joints one at a time. Let's figure this out. She felt not capable of understanding my assessments because her anatomy knowledge was off. I go, let's fix that problem. It's not that you don't understand everything, you just don't understand that one thing, and let's talk about how technology fits in.

A lot of my clients, I work a lot on Zoom with neuro clients, but a lot of clients, especially if they're older, they don't have the confidence. I'm not good with technology, I can't figure it out. Zoom confuses me, but I FaceTime my grandchildren. I go, we'll work on FaceTime. We could do it on FaceTime. Of course we can.

And then I FaceTime them and I show them how to use the Zoom. 'cause I just send you a link. All you have to do is click it. And those clients, often, my older clients who have technology issues. What I do now is they only really pay for a 45 minute session. I leave 15 minutes for troubleshooting and just knowing that they have that time because a lot of them, maybe they're on a fixed income, they're so nervous they're gonna waste time.

Okay? So I'm helping them cri, get over that barrier. They're not gonna do the neuro movement session, not because they don't think that it's good, it's because they don't think they're good enough on technology. They don't think they can understand me. And once we can fix those things, motivation, they engage more deeply.

They're not afraid to make mistakes, but if you make a mistake and you think you're not capable, you will probably quit. You are not gonna be motivated to persevere, and it is not your fault. I can't blame teachers a hundred percent. There are things you can do, and I'm gonna move to question three. Which sometimes people, um, I even when I was, you know, really learning about motivation, I would often get kind of understanding my perceived capability and my expectancy to succeed.

The probability I would succeed, I would get 'em confused. So think of it this way, do you think the juice is worth the squeeze? So I did an episode about the hip, maybe a few episodes back. And I wanted people to get excited about why this is important. So I just made them move their hip, touch a part of their body, asked 'em if it moved.

So I wanted them to feel that change was possible or the awareness that there's a movement issue was possible. So I increased their expectancy of success. 'cause I didn't make it overly complicated. Sometimes when we're really good at something, it doesn't feel complicated in our head, but when we say it, when people hear it, they're like, oh, yay.

It. That is very, very, very complicated. Now, I don't like saying dumbing things down 'cause it's insinuating your audience isn't smart enough. What I like to say is be more clear. Stop blaming your audience. I think people use flowery language because they don't truly understand what they're doing. Same here.

I think we tend to repeat ourselves 'cause we didn't say it good enough the first time. So I, when I'm writing social media posts, or even in these podcasts, I try to say it once and then move on. Do I always do a great job? No. Sometimes I'll even say, Hey, hey, I didn't like that. Let's try again. Okay. So your motivation is very, this is very important, guys.

Research, all motivational theory research. It shows your expectancy is highly sensitive to feedback and clarity. We just talked about clarity, feedback. Okay. I have a professor this semester. I, I kind of had to wipe the brown stuff off my nose, if you know what I mean. I wanted to give her a compliment, but I didn't want it to come across like I was kissing butt.

I wanted to give her a compliment because as a teacher, sometimes, often all you hear is the complaints, the things you didn't do well enough. And when a student takes the time to share a win or to share a positive, oh my God, it's like, it's awesome, right? Like I told you the story about the student, and then yesterday I taught a new workshop on hypermobility.

I got about six text messages from students just, oh my God, it's finally clicking, and it's just like, okay, I'm not yelling into the abyss. So maybe I was giving her a compliment because I love when client, my students tell me when something was good. Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I said, I really appreciate your feedback.

She's a tough grader. Her, she's really, really strict on a PA guidelines, which is good because, hello, we're writing dissertations. That shit has to be perfect. But like simple things like I didn't realize the names of the theories in a PA professional should not be capitalized and in my paper they were all capitalized.

So there was a few demerits, but now I know and I will never make that mistake again. So she's known to be a tough grader, but I actually said. I have to tell you, I really appreciate the feedback. I feel like I'm becoming a better writer. I feel like I'm getting the a PA, I'm feeling the value in the a PA.

She's making understanding a PA valuable 'cause. I'm gonna, my dissertation will be better and I'm getting a better grade. Okay? Value. Value. Now, what's super interesting is last semester I had a professor who gave like zero feedback. Like she didn't email us and we had all these assignments due. No feedback at all.

Ooh, I did not like that. 'cause you didn't know where you stood. I wanna make adjustments. I didn't have good expectancy of success in that class. I mean, I knew I would get a good grade 'cause the, the topic that it was on was something I was very interested in. So I knew I was putting effort, but it really sucked not getting feedback.

So right now, just based off that, if you're thinking about your motivation. It to stay motivated. You need feedback. How can you get feedback? Number one, get a good mentor. Hire somebody who's had success in the arenas you wanna have success in. Man, I just got off a coaching call where I was like, guys, I know you're gonna have to make these mistakes, but don't do this because I did it and I competed against myself.

And they're like, oh man. I'm like, but it's okay if you want to do this, because I would've done it even if you told me not to. I always say opinions are like buttholes. We all have one. Okay? But based off my experience in doing this, my professional opinion is to not do that. Okay? Number one, talk to a friend.

Talk to your spouse, talk to your partner, talk to a therapist. Because you will get feedback, and as you get feedback, people are giving you information. Don't ask. Yes, men. Ask people who will challenge you because that's gonna keep you motivated to get better. If somebody's always giving you negative feedback, you are gonna have to have really, you're gonna really have to have value in what you're doing and really be strong in your capabilities.

Too much negative feedback can crush a soul. Okay. When I'm doing a session with any of my students, or even when I was playing tennis yesterday, at the end of every one I go, okay, this is what I did well today and I list 'em off next week. I'm gonna work on this, like always point out the positives that I, I did 'cause I don't do well with negative feedback and if I do something well, I would really like you to tell me I did a good job.

I like an attaboy, I guess. What's that? Love language. Um, words of affirmation. Um, so anyway, so get feedback. And ask for clarity. It's sometimes embarrassing to ask for clarity because people make assumptions and I think to ask a better question, rather than saying, what do you mean? Say, Hey, I'm confused about how you're using that word and this framework.

Can you explain to me how that fits in? I'm just not understanding it and asking in a way that's not combative, but show that you really wanna understand. It always amazes me when people ask, I say this in my courses, all questions are welcomed and if I respond in a tone, it's because I'm frustrated, but I'm not frustrated at you.

I'm frustrated at myself because I thought I was clear. 'cause listen, I get frustrated when people ask a question. I'll be like, seriously, because I'm pissed. 'cause I spend a lot of time to be clear. But I wasn't. I wasn't because they didn't get it. And that's on me. But I've also had people ask questions.

Well, they'll rattle on for 10 minutes pontificating about what they know and you know how I respond. Was there a question in that? And my rule of thumb is, I will match your energy. You come in hot, I will come in hotter. That doesn't happen as much. Those are people who are just there to hear themselves talk.

If you wanna pay me a thousand dollars so you can talk, well, I'll cash that check, but I would prefer to be a teacher and to learn from you. Okay, so motivation. It's not an inspirational speech, although it could be if that inspirational speech adds value, makes the person you're giving to it feel more capable or increases the probability of success.

That's how a motivational speech can help. So if you wanna do motivational speeches, think of that, and I didn't finish my thought. I'd like to circle back. Apologies. It's a symptom of my concussion. Sometimes I lose my place. I talked about if you want to motivate others. So if you want to motivate others and increase their probability, um, to succeed, it's very important that you give feedback and ask them if things are making sense.

So you have to take the time and actually give feedback, both negative and positive people like the Oreo cookie model. You know, I love an Oreo cookie, but don't be condescending to people. Say, listen. I really value what you're trying to do here. I think this is what's happening. Be direct with people and don't be passive aggressive.

Another example, I just had a student said something at, you know, I was trying to give a client feedback and the student kind of stepped in and I said, I value your opinion and I'm so proud of you that you had the courage to speak up. But that wouldn't be a good place to do it because those things I suggested were an assessment for the client.

'cause it was a group class and I want them, I wanna challenge them and I don't wanna overwhelm them. So giving them more options could be overwhelming. Also, they were asking me a question they did not realize you were one of our students. They just thought you were another patient. So someone coming in asking for someone's a professional opinion could come across that they didn't want your opinion.

I want your opinion, and let's talk about a format where that's better. She was very apologetic. I go, do not apologize and you don't. Please don't make excuses. I'm thinking in my head it was a note. Just take the note and we move on. I will not hold that against her. Something I learned from my dad, he was the best boss.

He was very direct. If you did something great, he would tell you if you did something wrong, he would tell you, but he would forget about it. It was the opposite of most bosses who are passive aggressive. I remember one I had, did you fold the towels in the gym? You know, I didn't fold the towels 'cause you saw they weren't folded.

You're being passive aggressive. Just say, Meghann, please make sure you fold the towels. Okay. So let's put a bow around this. If we want to increase your motivation or your student's motivation, make sure they understand the value of what they're learning, connect the dots. Students. Think about what your goals are and how this is a piece of that goal.

Teachers, educators, movement teachers, it's your job to ask questions. You can't assume the value for your students. Ask them their goals. Hey Meg, I know you're, I know you're not interested in upper extremity 'cause you think OTs do that and you're a pt, but let me tell you, that hand position and that lack of sensory input that client's getting is gonna affect shoulder mobility and, you know, the shoulder is directly related to the hip.

We, they work together. Think about if they don't have the good tension in the ladder, stability in the in the shoulder joint, how that's gonna affect their lower body. So I know it feels like it's not your job, but it can make you as a PT really stand out 'cause you understand how the whole system works.

See what I did there? I added value number two, make sure both you and your students feel capable, not with a motivational speech. Figure out where their knowledge gaps are and fill those knowledge gaps. See people ask them questions. And if you are a student or you are struggling, ask for help. And if that person doesn't help you, ask somebody else.

You are not stupid. You are not a poor learner. You just don't have anybody yet who has answered the questions or filled the knowledge gaps you have. Sometimes it's simple as vocabulary and taking a lot of these education courses, they use a lot of jargon and I was like, what's the difference between a CLO and the goal of the course?

It's like, uh, they all seem the same to me. And yet I have yet a teacher simply explain it in a way that I'm like, okay, this is valuable to me. Why are you using that jargon? Just say it. And last but not least, people have to feel that they can be successful. Lot of people don't feel like they can recover from a stroke.

Why? Because they've never seen someone recover from a stroke and their doctors told them it's probably unlikely. So you know what I do? I show them videos of clients that have succeeded. I show them, tell them where they started, and in their sessions, we get a big win. If I don't get a big win for them on the first session, I haven't increased their probability.

They can succeed. They better have a big value or feel capable enough because if I didn't increase their probability to succeed, they probably will not come back. Okay? Help people succeed, be clear, give feedback, and have some fun. And understand that motivation, just like creativity, it's gonna ebb and flow.

Just because you're not super active or doing something doesn't mean you're mo not motivated. You might have high levels of motivation and recognize, I need to take a break on this because I'm getting burned out and I'm losing the value. So please don't judge your motivation. Look at how you can really change it.

I hope you enjoy today's episode and are feeling a little more motivated and can't wait to have you listen to the next one.